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bethb's Diaryland Diary

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shakin' that ass with grandpa pants

Here's another important life lesson from the teachings of beth b.

When you're having a crappy day because of stuff you can't control and then no matter what you do or who you ask, people never can manage to remember simple things so you rush rush rush across town hoping to make it to the bank by 1 pm and you actually get there at 1:06 and one teller won't help you but one does have pity on your ass, so you cash a check that you wanted to cash and just have some fun with, and then you go home and take a shower because all this rushing around has made you sweaty so after your shower, you take some laundry downstairs b/c there's a party later and you don't have a thing to wear, but WHOOPS! you didn't take your keys with you, and of course you remember the second the door shuts so by this point you break down in your hallway wishing your cat had opposable thumbs, then you borrow a neighbor's Safeway card to break into your apartment, and by now it's three so you throw one load of laundry into the dryer and hop in your car to go to the mall to pick up some chargers for work because they're on sale at Macy's but it it 3:30 by the time you get there and the vultures have bought most of the gold chargers so you decide- hey. i'm going to get a haircut. i have a picture on me. why not.

this is the lesson people. when the world is just dumping on you, do not just, on a lark, decide to get a haircut.

It doesn't matter where i go, who i go to, how many pictures of the cut i want (in this case, it was 5 pictures!!!!) i always leave the fucking place looking like dorthy hammil. i think it's a conspiracy against me by the united styllists of the world. my hair is way too short now. i look like a little dutch boy. when i first moved to the city, my friend told me about this place on the hill, nice nice, not too expensive, i went there, still in my inverted bob phase (which had grown out a bit because i had been in North Carolina prior to commming here)and i made an apointment with Melba. I walked in, explained to her what i wanted, used the international sign language symbol for 'inverted bob' which is when you hold your hands up above your ears behind your head, and draw them down in a chopping motion towards your chin. I said blunt, please, not tapered under.

What i got was a flat tapered bob.

I went back again, i figured, she was nice enough- i'll just bring pictures. Nope. flat tapered bob.

Then i went to my friend holly. She's actually quite good at cutting hair, but it was Shoooooooooooooooort. as in, i got it cut in the first week of june in 1999 and didn't really get another haircut until april 2000 short.

The april 2000 haircut was ok actually.I went to a generic chain place. I will have to admit, i went in with a picture of Jenna Elfman, she had this shaggy layered bob. but shaggy. i liked it. I walked out poofy. but i was able to tame it....even tho she did taper it under.

So this time, i went armed with 5 pictures of the same cut. it was an ad for some styling product that i wasn't able to find at target. it was a really layered very shaggy thing. to make this even worse, the ad's copy was something like 'for hair that's ready to rock'. i left looking like i was going to break into figure 8's. or teach second grade reading.

i think i'm going to have to bite the bullet and go to some chichi salon, which i hate doing. i'm not a chichi person really. and 60 bucks is a lot to pay for a haircut, when, truthfully, i know there's gotta be someone at some hair cuttery somewhere who can do the same thing for $11.

I think what i'm most pissed off about, is that i'm never able to say 'this doesn't look anything like what i wanted'.Or why can't i ever convey to people- not just stylists, what i really need them to do.

On an up note- the party last night was awesome! i had a great time. *annnnnnnnnnd* grandpa pants was there. i think grandpa pants is my new crush boy, even tho he can't be any older than 16, and all i really want is a plastic 20" version for bath tub fun time. Honest to god, this kid is so painfully perfect looking. He looks like he stepped off of the cover of the Promise Ring's 'Boys and Girls' 7". He's usually wearing a plaid shirt and brown polyester grandpa pants with argyle socks and black low-top converse and horn rimmed glasses. last night he was incognito- no plaid. black t shirt. When i saw him, i found ann (she knows about my grandpa pants crush) and i said 'ann!!!! grandpa pants is here!' and she goes 'Tonight's the night!' but we were just kidding, of course, because i am even too old to have been his babysitter.

oh, youth.

15:26:34 - 2000-07-30

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