bethb's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- No boys and my co-worker has no idea what month it is) No. It's a simple word, right? Why am i not able to wrap my lips around it long enough to get it out of my throat. I have, once again, over extended myself. I hate it. And I really, truly, hate theatre. It is begining to seem so pointless to me. The egos, the deadlines. Parts of my job at shakespeare are fine, because trutfully, a lot of what i do in props doesn't seem like theatre until tech week and that's just a 60 hour work week so it flies by. most of the time. But these smaller theatres and shows... i actually rolled my eyes at my director because he was asking for suggestions about somethng so i threw out some options and he said 'no. sorry' like that witch on that snippy new game show. thus, the eye roll. I'm sorry pal, that i have a tiny budget and absolutely no support or space to create anything in. I really, am 2 minutes to quitting. Also, let's talk about boys for a minute. So, once upon a time (maybe a month ago) i meet this nice (slightly older) boy at an opening night party, this is a boy that Lynn has wanted to pair off with our friend Diana for some time but has never made the connection, so he and i ended up meeting and, i thought (and so did a bunch of people i was there with that night) we hit it off rather well, which is an extremely novel occurence in my sad little life. So...i didn't call him. I just couldn't make myself and he travels a lot and he didn't call me either, so then i go to diana's on sunday, and she tells me she had a date with bill last night. i told her that i didn't care, but honestly, i did a little. more than a little i guess. But not really becasue of the bill thing. well, maybe because of the bill thing, but there just seems to be this general underscore of 'beth isn't good enough' happening in my life right now, and it fucking sucks. and all diana could talk about was boys she's been 'fixed up with' so i countered with all of my thrifting scores from the weekend and i think we bored each other. you know what, that's it. no boys. no crushes. Not even that cute little boy who works at the book store next to the lansburgh who i think lives in my neighborhood, because i see him at eastern market almost every weekend. Nope. not even him. Well, maybe him. a little. Quote of the day from jeffrey "that's gotta be a gig somewhere, the office idiot" (He just came in and said 'beware the ides of May' and i looked at him and said 'uh....are the ides the middle?' and he said yes, it's when Caeser was killed' *blink* 'um, jeffrey, that was march...') 9:46 a.m. - 2001-05-15 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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