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bethb's Diaryland Diary


present and accounted for

got the "we're ok" email from eydie and johanna. i think they were the last people i had to hear from.

whew is just too much of an understatement.

on the drive in yesterday, i was listening to the radio since my CD player was jammed and i was listening to some crappy station when i heard 'a plane has just hit the world trade center in NYC' and my first thought was 'that's a bad joke', but i called my best lea b/c she goes to school at NYU and gets off at the WTC subway. didn't get her, but i got her voice mail left the concerned best friend message. at that point, all i heard was 'a passenger plane' had hit the WTC and i was thinking a cessna-style plane, not a jet liner. by the time i pulled into work, the second plane had hit and the specs of terrorism had begun. the inital reports were kinda begnien. a 2-3 floor hole. i was in my car when jeffrey and sean pull up in sean's car. we're listening to the radio and go into my office and turn on the radio and i try to get the CNN website, but no dice. i do get the washington post website and they already have a pic up of the first hole. then the radio announces a plane has hit the pentagon. i immediately call my boss chester because he lives <-------this-------> close to the pentagon and he tells me that he heard and felt something, but thought it might have been the auto dealership out back.

then as we'er listening to the radio, all this crazy shit starts comming. reported car bomb or two outsdie the state dept. (false) the USA today office in rossyln is on fire (false) a small plane has hit the south lawn of the white house, and the debris is resting against the building (false) there's a fire on the mall (false)

truthfully, i'm almost glad for all the false reporting because i really thought it was armegeddon. i called my parents to tell them i was ok. our production mgr. called to say that the theatre and offices are closed and we're free to go. um, i live 6 blocks from the capitol building. i'm not going anywhere. at least at work i'm six miles from the mall and downtown DC proper. sean jeffrey and i stay camped around the computer to see what's going on and are getting phone calls from friends and coworkers.

i checked my voice mail at home and lea was calling to make sure i was ok.

i am so glad i didn't run my arlington errands yesterday morning.

at lunchtime i ventured outside to get some stuff for sandwiches and went to the nearest grocery store. it looked like traffice comming out of town was terrible but not too bad going into the city. at the grocery store people were just...moving....being... it was eerily quiet. really, no one was looking at each other or even talking much. it was is if we didn't make a lot of noise, the other shoe wouldn't drop. all the pale faces and downcast eyes were sureal against the chipper store music. the whole day yesterday was surreal. buildings don't just disappear. they just don't. they can't. they did.

it makes me sad that no one will ever be able to stand on the observation deck of the trade center and lean their head against the plate glass windows and look down into NYC and count the taxis.

the sickness in my heart and in my stomach is so great and i can't even imagine what the families are feeling. the news showed dozens of people leaping off the the buildings. i can't even imagine having to make the choice between fire and falling. i just can't. it all makes me so sick.

there were very few people on the roads yesterday afternoon when i drove home. on the sidewalks, it was just quiet. except for the regular figer jets flying overhead and a little before 7 pm i saw the bush helicopter entourage. i will have to say, that gun runner helicopter is one massive and scary piece of engineering.

we cancelled rehearsal last night and for the first day in months, i had a day off. i spent the majority of last night on the phone with concerned friends and family and that made me feel so wonderful. i really needed that. i was also really really desperate for anything on TV that wasn't news-related. i couldn't put on a video. i don't know why, i just couldn't i couldn't read, i couldn't play my bass (sorry jos) i couldn't even listen to music. i was just thinking someone, somewhere, at least have friends running. fuck, at this point, i'd even take major dad or full house. just....something.

i eventually fell asleep and had horrible dreams and woke up at 2:30 am. then was the cavelcade of terrible tv. mad about you. i hate that show, but i watched it. then i love lucy, whihc i love. then sex wars, which is a horrible horrble world's worst game show and then sally jessee raphael. i eventually was lulled to sleep by sally's raspy voice.

i am very. very. very. lucky.

thank you to everyone with your unbelieveably kind thoughts and words.

hug your friends, kiss your parents, feed your pets

10:55 a.m. - 2001-09-12


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