bethb's Diaryland
Diary
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i'm sorry i can't stop saying i'm sorry...
i am chester-free for the next three days. sometimes my job isn't so bad. like when adorable coworker brings you beers from the fridge because it's 5 pm and you stand on the loading dock watching the storm roll in and laughing at his adorable paper delivery stories from his youth and you share a really embarrassing thing you use to do when you were little with a bike. actually, not so much embarrassing as it is "why didn't your parents have you checked for OCD when you were little?" i developed many many photos at a walmart today. they're 19 cents a print there as opposed to 29 cents almost everywhere else. most of them look good. i think chester wants to go to paris now. tomorrow i'm going to a knitting group thing with rania. i'm excited, but a little nervous i'm going to be laughed at. on sunday i went to christine's wake. when i got there i saw dc-scene people so i knew i was in the right place, but across the room in the open casket was a person who did *not* look like christine. it looked like an older black lady. i stood kinda awkwardly in the door waiting to tell rosanna how sorry i was and i saw amanda m. and chris f. across the room so i stood near them. amanda is probably one of the best people i've ever met. if you can crack the surface she is smart and warm and eloquent and welcoming. i was clearly nervous and i asked "uh, i don't go to these things very often, but um.....who is that?" and gestured towards the casket across the room. chris said that itwas christine. there was just so much fluid when she died, and there wasn't anything that could be done. amanda made a joke about it "not being a space saving issue" which was what the moment needed. i just wish i had something better to say or to offer to vin and his family more than "i'm sorry".
9:27 p.m. - 2005-04-19
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