bethb's Diaryland
Diary
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avoidance is the best defense
i might have to stop taking calls from my grandmother. i just might. as shitty as that sounds. i love the woman. i do. i think i'm more like her than my mom; but it pains me to see what she's deteriorating into. once the fiercely independant matriarch of the world's blandist family, she went swimming every day. cooked large holiday meals and cleaned up by breakfast the next day which made me blush with shame as i looked around her clean dining room and kitchen and thought back to the unused cups i hadn't put away from a party i threw a month prior when i lived in my old apartment. my old studio apartment. which was about as big as the laptop i'm typing on. today there were two digs about not having anyone and one awkwardly phrased question if i'd seen 'broken back' yet. which may have been her way of seeing if i would say i'm gay (which i'm not). although not bringing anyone home to meet my family (my conservative, republican, vaguley racist and growingly incohearent family) seems to be raising eyebrows with the family. if they only knew how afraid i am of anyone i like meeting them.... i think i'll just find ways to avoid going up there.
6:29 p.m. - 2006-01-24
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