bethb's Diaryland Diary

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signs signs everywhere a sign

i'm back. i am so tired. and there is nothing like a driving down ohio dr. near the base of the washington monument with the windows down and the fall loud on your ipod-playing radio to make you happy to be back in dc. that and your bed. and your cat who is so happy to see you she would sit on your head if you would let her. and your air conditioning.
and your television....
so i'm hearing all about this mel gibson to-do just now and it's just....wow.....
on the bus ride down chicago to the blue line transfer i was going through my outline in my head on the steps i need to take to be a new (read: better) beth b.
and one of those steps is figuring out what i'm doing/where i'm going and am i in the right place.
there have only been a few new-to-me towns that i've thought "yes, this is comfortable". they are paris and chicago which is not so unlikely. the El really reminds me of paris' metro system a lot. whereas paris' RER train line is very much like DC's metro...only with cooler train cars.
anyway, i'm on the bus, ready to leave chicago and i'm kinda tearing up...like the kind of staccato tearing that you know if you were alone would escalate to big air-gulping heaving gasps. the kind of crying that turns your nose into an alcoholic's gin-blossom-looking nose. and i'm thinking to myself what do i do? should i seriously think about gettin a job in theatre (although most of the better theatres have gone union, but i could probably get a job with dan o and mary z and CRAP! why didn't i call dan? but anyway, ironically, the cover article for time out chicago is asking why is chicago theatre so white? which i'm guessing will make it hard for a little round white girl to get work in the theatre especially when she's not really sure that's what she wants to do with herself anymore, but i'll read the article anyway and anyway back to the bus.
so going down chicago, passing ukranian markets and bookstores and restaurants and we get a little farther and i'm thinking "i need a sign" when we pass a place that makes signs and i think "ha ha, very funny" when we pass another place that makes signs. and really, i think signs are all about what your subconscious is telling you to do, it's like dream interpretation, when the bus says "elizabeth" because that's the street we passed and i start thinking how nice it would be to ride a bus everyday that knew your name, even if it calls you by your whole propper first name not unlike your mother when you were little, but still....two signs and then the bus says your name.
but then you return home, and it's fort reno time ( and for those of you playing along at home, that makes at least 19 bands viewed/heard in the past 52 or so hours) and the evens are playing so all your favorite people are there and the kids seem to be ok tonight, except you see that f-ing matt kid that amanda has tried to be cool with. that f-ing matt kid who consistently causes problems. that f-ing matt kid that you call "lord of the flies" to the nice police who think it's really funny that you call him that and are totally kind and on your side in helping remove the one bad apple from the really quite stellar group. that f-ing matt kid who will get led away in handcuffs at the end of the night because amanda tells the cops where he might be and he is and they find him not ony
1. with his pants down but
2. with a bit of marijuana on him which equals lead away in cuffs.
so lord of the flies might be out of the equation for the remaining 5 shows which in my opinion is the best thing that could have happenend. not only will the lead troublemaker (hopefully) be locked up, but i think it's obvious a kid that is 15 and is pretty consitently drinking and smoking up obviously has a problem and maybe this will help him somehow because let's face it...there's being a kid and then there's having a problem and my money is on the latter. that and i'm sure his parents have some coin. and should fucking know that their dirtbag 15 year old son is potentially knocking up dumb girls while they get high behind some soccer fields at fort reno which, if i may.
girls? i know you will understand this and feel the intrinsic incredible emotion *....if a boy tries to get down and dirty with you on the grass near a soccer goal net? he is not good boyfriend material, ok? he's just not. he's probably not even a really good lay, but you won't know that until years later.

so maybe stuff will simmer down. maybe he'll learn a lesson, get help, accept whatever help is thrown at him and he will thrive. who knows.
*all appologies to meryn cadall.

11:28 p.m. - 2006-07-31

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