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bethb's Diaryland Diary

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i'm a chump

I have bass lesson #1 tonight. I made it in a fit of excitement and completely forgot about ft. reno. whoops. now i feel horrible....but maybe it will be allright.

oh, sooooooooooo excited. i picked out happy birthday last night which ups my song repitoire 100% to TWO songs now. soon i'll be availible for parties.

The dinner last night was nice. I think i was far too quiet. i just don't know what to say to people with their uh....hm...remarks.

i don't really feel like recapping it all, but much of it was pretty upsetting to me. It was like i tapped into this weird, overt, hillbilly racist ethic on Capitol Hill. It wasn't all of them. Ed the bicycling physicist is cool as hell. And tony's stories about hitch-hiking across the country years ago were neat...until he refered to his 'dead faggot brother'. Um...yeah. nice huh?

I mean, what do you say? I felt like a chump for holding my tongue, because some of the crap he was saying totally pissed me off, but i don't really know these folks. What could i have done in an evening to reverse an entire lifetime of experiences that obviously built up such hate in this man?

I don't know. I feel really shitty for just sitting there and quietly eating the bing cherries, but i was just so speechless that these people actually exist.

15:16:46 - 2000-06-26

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