bethb's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- too chaotic to recap here So, i found my 'ye old high school yearbook' last week while i was cleaning sections of my apartment. and when i say 'cleaning sections of my apartment' i mean shoveling them into other sections with doors or boxes to conceal stuff. You know how in yearbooks, someone came up with the ill-advised idea to let students put a quote and whatever you wanted in some personalized section which also usually contained a string of initials that, chances are, you can't completely remember who they were meant for? I used a john lennon quote that said something like 'how can i move forward when i don't know which way i'm facing'. I always thought they should outlaw those things, mostly because the percentage of kids using 'what a long strange trip it's been' has gotten outta hand. I realize that john lennon is really only a stones throw from the grateful dead-but honestly, i think that quote still applies to me today. I don't know what i want. i think i do, but then i think about it too much, and then i don't. Shiney is good. me like-y the shiney. I've spent most of the weekend by myself. i haven't been in a very pro-beth kinda mood lately. i don't know what to do to alieviate it. wish i did. i find it's best to hibernate when i get in these moods. i even rented a movie last night (GO)(haven't watched it yet) and got some vegetable lo-mein (too soy sauce-y)i'm wishing i had gone to the engine down show yesterday, but i couldn't deal with being crammed into little space with lots of people. Ok, let's talk about boys now. yeah. where to begin. i guess want or to want i guess. i dunno. sometimes i want, sometimes i want too much, sometimes i want not at all. and sometimes i just am. You know? I am horrifically dumb at picking up clues of people liking me. i literally need to be shaken by the shoulders and have someone say 'i like you. now what are you gonna do about it?' (quick grammarical side note- i keep misspelling 'say' as 'asy' which makes me think of 'assy' which is a word i've been using *wayyyyy* too much lately. more on that later) of course, if someone *did* do that, i would probably turn on my heel and run, you know? But i need other people to take initiatve. it's kinda like at work. i won't ask you to help me. i am not about busy work. if you ask me for something to do, i most certainly will have something for you to do, but i am not going to constantly hound people into working. it's called work ethic. Words i've been using too much lately- assy and gay. gay is mostly my boss chester's fault. if something is a little too uhm....well...gay. that's what he says. Oh, petula clark is on the radio forget all your troubles, forget all your cares....downtown. what a happy song. things will be great when you're down town...everything's waiting for you....downtown, downtown. what a weird promise. like downtown is the promised mecca. meanwhile, Downtown DC (anyway) is lame-lame-lame-a-lame lame. I love my little studio apartment on the hill, although i am really itching to move to someplace like mount pleasant. i think i could probably do a group house if i had a corner of the basement to paint and play my bass in. that would be ok. i don't know if i could do a co-op right off the bat after living by myself for almost 2 years (hey, august 16th is my two year anniversary of moving to DC! should i have a party? who should i invite?) but it might not be so bad to live with people. i dunno. but what about my fiesta dishes? man, i'm gonna quit writing now, this is just all over the place. xoxo beth b. 17:14:43 - 2000-07-23 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
||||||