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bethb's Diaryland Diary

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a full report, plus i divulge my feelings for gabe kaplan

ok, so...i've cleared my head, and i'm going to write down everything that happened. this may or may not be funny, so for those of you tuning out 'til next time- laters....

On wednesday morning, i arrive at work at 9:02 ( i only know this because i've been testing out different ways to get to work because i'm obesessed with finding the quickest way, but they all seem to average out to the same time)as i walk past our dumpster, i see it's full of drywall and wood and we don't drywall so i grouse to myself about other people using our dumpster but i say to myself, well, at least it is wednesday, and the dumpster guys will haul it away in a little bit.

anyway, i pull out my keys and i start to put it into the deadbolt and i realize that it isn't locked which i have found- more than once, but at least the knob is locked-oh, and no it's not.i open the door (and you have to realize everything i'm about to say takes about 4 seconds to read, but in my mind it was split second) and there's fine dust all over the floor, not unlike the dust one would illict from breaking apart drywall, and i think is someome remodeling something? and i'm shaking and i start yelling 'hello?!?!' and i look over at jeffrey's desk computer-gone. fax machine-gone. printer-gone. radio on jeffrey's desk-gone. phone-gone. now i'm really shaking and all i can scream is hello (beth b. fact #789 when i'm panicing, i get stuck on words or phrases...you'll see) i see a fire extinguisher by the door and figure that's what the dust is, since everything is intact. messy, but intact. i walk through the breakroom, more dust, into chester's office, messy, but more dust, into my office (all the offices go back in a line, like a railroad apartment) and my phone is gone, my CD player (my very first one. it wasn't any good, but i had recieved it for my 21st birthday. i still have it's stupid box because one summer about 5 years ago, my brother wrote a phone message on it from a boy i was fond of then)a bunch of cds (motherfuckers got my favorite unrest disc(perfect teeth) and my HOT SNAKES! and some other stuff, but HOT SNAKES! and UNREST! the (kinda if there is any)good news is that they only got the discs, so the cases are taunting me at home...foo. ok, so my room- my desk drawers are pulled open, some stuff is thrown on the ground (they really went through 2 drawers. my top drawer and my lower right. if they had gone through my upper right, they would have found 3 empty wallets but they were still there. they also got my polaroid camera and a crappy target watch that clips onto your belt loop. but my clip fell off and it was sitting on my desk awaiting repair. the clip was still there, but not the watch. they also got a TV and VCR that were just kinda hanging around from timon that we never got around to setting up.

I call my boss, he doesn't answer, i call the police and i'm trying to explain to them that i need to go outside, everything is covered in extinguisher exhaust and it's difficult to breathe. they finally say to wait outside. i go outside and i'm waiting for people to show up. i'm wandering around the warehouses and a guy drives up and lets me use his phone i call my boss who is no use and can't think and so slow and i finally get off the line with him and then i think, oh god, storage....storage.....so i start shrieking 'storage!''storage!''storage!' (that's where we keep our props and stuff) and it's fine. i go up the hill, past the workroom door on the far side of the building and now i see how the burglars got in. they completely blew off the deadbolt and doorknob. the door is fucked. it is bashed and there are door hardware bits all over the ground. i start crying, but oddly feel relieved that it wasn't my lunkhead coworkers leaving the door unlocked.

at this point, i plop down on the pavement and just chew on my fingers waiting for someone to arrive, police, coworkers, anyone, when howard who works in a near by warehouse comes over and talks to me until the police arrive. which they don't. first, an ambulance arrives with two very very very nice men. i explain to them that i'm fine, just burgled and the reason i wanted to wait outside is because of all the dust. they laugh at the dispatcher and the poor communication and drive off. howard tells me about the time he was carjacked last october and finally the police arrive.....at the wrong building and howard and i have to flag them over. So....(we'll call them Opie and Cleatus) Opie takes my name and address and everything and i say i can't believe this, because just yesterday i was telling someone about how much i liked this area and it didn't seem so bad and Opie looks at my address again and says 'yeah, if you live in the south east, this area wouldn't seem so bad' and i say (sternly because hand-to-god, if i get ONE more stunod telling me how scary SE DC is, he's a dead man) I LIVE ON CAPITOL HILL!!!!and he's like 'ok, ok....so what happened....i tell them about comming through this door, and finding stuff gone, but i later noticed the door on the other side of the building so we go through that door and i'm so afraid to go in because that's where our tools are, almost all of our glassware but aside from the door, they didn't touch anything over there. not our chop saw, not our Dewalt drills and sanders not Sean's CD player, we walk through the middle bay which is costume storage and we try the door that connects the two spaces and it's locked. Now, this is creepy because 1) the burglars had to know that those two outside doors connected where they don't anywhere else in these warehouses, and 2) they thought to lock that door, so if someone had found them and come through the workroom side, they couldn't have gotten to them. so we have to go back outside and around and as soom as we walk through the door, Opie says look at all this dust, and then says 'i wonder what it's from' and i look at him and i say, 'well, i'm no columbo, but i'm gonna bet it was from that extinguisher there on the chair by the door'. so cleatus takes it outside and dusts it for prints. no good. can't lift anything. i tell them my theory about the illegal dumper and the stuff in the dumpster and opie tells me that 'no robber would be dumb enough to leave a name on their garbage' but i found a WHOLE address label. and as i'm going through the dumpster i find tile and wooden slats from something that once held a KOHLER product, and i know that kholer makes plumbing stuff, and we've had plumbing stuff dumped out there before which makes me think that this person knows our area and possibly our schedule. so opie finally takes the label and i'm like 'look, this person was obviously here last night....if they aren't the robber, even though someone who could do that to drywall and tile would certainly have the tools to do that to a door)maybe they at least saw something. opie is still doubtfull, but i mean OH MY FUCKING GOD! JUST CHECK IT THE FUCK OUT OK?!?!?!?!?

SO then jeffrey finally comes in and i tell him what's happening. and that's pretty much the whole story. so, yeah. police leave. no evidence guy can come. supposedly a detective will call in the next few days, but i haven't heard of anything. and in the mean time, all i want to do is hermit. i stayed at home and watched TV and played a little on my bass. i need to find something new to kick my ass, because, sadly, i'm pretty close to giving up on myself. i'm just not musical or smart enough to figure it all out and johanna is busy with school and work, and mixing the new most secret method record. but then i'll put on sleater kinney or something (yeah, i know they don't have a bass) and all i can think is how i want to be able to do that *soooooooo* bad.

also, i would like to thank my skin for meeting the stress of this past week with a nice big humoungeo zit on my chin....yep. nice. classy.

and whilest i am on the issue of 'class', i watched Pop-Stars last night. Which is essentially 'making the band', but with halter tops. Did anyone else see it? did it drive anyone out of their gourd when the 'judges' (whomever the fuck they were) would tell the girls that 'we think you sing GOOD, but you're not what we're looking for'.

we think you sing good. me no think you talk GOOD! It's WELL you wanna/needta-be jane pratt staving off the effects of old age through glitter and a hair barrette....sheesh

got a cute sweater yesterday at the salv. *and* i got a record (haven't listened to it yet) that was written by gabe kaplan. (it's a comedy record) and thursday i was saying how i thought gabe kaplan was a severly underrated comedian. chris agreed with me, but i dunno if it was heartfelt.

i love gabe kaplan. i do i do, i swear i do.

xoxo

beth b.

but i think le welder chaud is cuter. i need to figure out a good way to run into him again. i should also probably try to figure out why i think welding is such an attractive trait in a man. but it's a specific kind of welding (and i don't mean like, MIG vs. oxy/acetelyne. i mean, artisic V. utilitarian welding)

ppss. this is entry #213.....crazy

14:11:19 - 2001-01-20

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