bethb's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- and i'm one of them. ugh. the wife came to see the married today and picked him up. i felt kinda throw-uppy. it was totally the weirdest sensation. i went the long way around as to avoid meeting her...have i mentioned i'm 12? chester asked me if i saw her and i said not really. i'm not really up for meeting anyone with a face full of rash. he said she looked "kinda mousey and jewish" i'm not sure what that means. i'm sure she's absolutely perfect. i'm sure she's probably astonishingly perfect. you know what i did? i tried to shake this lonely thing and i placed an on line "hey wanna hang out?" whatever-you-want-to-call-it. i got some really dippy responses and i got some pretty ok responses. i met one of the ok responses and while i think nothing super make-outy will happen, it might be another person to see shows with. and he had a jesus lizard story, and i'm always up for some david yow gossip. the people to whom "i'm beth b. from fort reno" meant nothing listened to shit like "roxette"- as in 'she's got the look' roxette. um, isn't this 2004? why are you listening to shit on the pretty woman soundtrack? (i only know that because i was working in a record store when that crap-bomb hit and everyone EVERYONE in newtown, PA bought that g.d. soundtrack) to me, listening to roxtette demonstrates an uninterest in anything new or even a curiousity about what else is out there. but then there were to folks who knew who i was from my work with fort reno....and they stopped emailing me completely thus meaning that i am even too hideous to communicate with OVER A COMPUTER. look, world, society....god, whomever is listening. i get it. you win. i understand. this is it. i am going to be an old cat lady, choking on a tuna sandwich in my kitchen and someone will only find my half-eaten by cats corpse when i miss, like, a whole week of work. i get it. i just hope i have sweet gerkins for that tuna sandwich. and in the process of trying to feel less lonely, i just made it worse, so that's it. i'm done. i will make myself work 70 hours a week so i won't have time to dwell on the lack of anything good in my life. ok? fate? are you happy now? i get it. some people are just meant to be alone and i'm one of them. there. 11:41 p.m. - 2004-08-11 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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