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bethb's Diaryland Diary

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i am not making this up

so yesterday at work, one of my co-workers comes back stage giggling, carrying some photo copies.
apparently, some poor misguided soul sent a letter to the shakespeare machine.
and becky did the right thing- she made me a copy. and this letter is so gloriously bizzare that i have to share it here. i only wish i could show the illustrations and the bizzare handwriting. i will try to scan this in sometime in the future, but for now, here's the text.
all the spellings are the initial author's. anything i put in [brackets] is me explainging the illustration
[half moon] Theatre [Half moon]
GOTHIC. Sweet shy witche cryptic chick
artist, in search of respectful, Quiet GOTH
roommate and friend. Bauhaus, Miranda sex garden,
The Sisters of Mercy. Edward Scissorhands image
type artists. Sensitive to needs. Wiccan-
- Shamanism-Earth religions. Neede a protecting
kind Witche/Wizard. Forever Soulmate/friend.

Desire to reside in Salem, Massachusetts, rural
countryland preferred- Big Olde houses to room in!
Attics. Please sende your message Owlmail
No prisoners. No Imposters. No criminals.
No smoking. No drugs. Mediaeval Baebes only!

Mary (maire) elizabeth blah blah address blah.
but wait! here's the letter that preceeds this um.....ad.
October 31, 2004 Samhain
Hallows eve [poorly drawn pirate/skeleton skull with a candle sticking out of it's head]
Shakespere Theatre,
I love Shakespere (too bad she can't spell it) and mimes!
I am writing to you as i desperately need your help!

I am an artistic, dramatic one (always have been)
And forever needing ones like me, to find my mate,
In the world of gothic vampir theatre.

I am 36 (no that isn't a typo) yet appear years younger. I am quite solitary and
shy, never have acted or sung for others, but belong in
the theatrical world. Do not send me any of your information, please. I only need to find an address
(no computer) for a theatrical/gothic singles contacts
as I. Also, for other actors/actresses there to please
write me. You know who you are [squinty eyed smiley face with fangs]
So we can meet. You can let those see my
reverse message by posting itin
your Theatre backstage [oh, you better believe this is being posted *everywhere*]

Everyday is Halloween!
Write ASAP! [tombstone with rip on it. i'm guessing the moon with some squillgly clouds in front of it. then there's a quasi-anime profile of a girl who, as best as i can tell, does not have a nose.
above her head is written "maire" with a candle as the "i" and next to said noseless girl is:
a
creature
of the
night :

good lord the kooks are out.

10:13 a.m. - 2004-11-11

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