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bethb's Diaryland Diary

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but what if V. but it doesn't

I believe in jinxes. I wish i didn't. i wish I believed in me and my gut and I wish my gut turned out right. Ever. And I wish the voice in my head would stop saying "but it doesn't" when the other voice says "but what if?"
I'm trying to not put a lot of stock in the "but what if?" because when I do it's all butterflies and googling things that just make the butterflies flutter faster.
But I want to. I want to believe in the "what if" and hum songs from West Side story and all that.
If i do, i'll think i jinxed it. If I don't I think i'll have jinxed it. the only difference is one leaves me on the floor and one doesn't. one puts up walls and one doesn't.
I'm going to go on a run and think about this.

6:53 p.m. - 2011-05-18

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