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bethb's Diaryland Diary


onward and upward.

I blew up my life a few years ago. I blew up my life thinking I would be ok. I left a comfortable but trying job to strike out on my own and went without health insurance for a few months (it's ok! The US government financially penalized me for that!) and then my rent controlled apartment on Capitol Hill was maybe up for sale, and then it wasn't and then it was and then it did and I had to decide if I wanted to stay or go.

There have been lots of changes in the last (almost 4 years). I feel like in many ways it's actually been good. It's taken a long time to get there but I feel like it's leveling off and heading up.

I tried new things, a lot of new things, taking temp jobs where I did things like work for an old man 15 years beyond his retirement who rage-chewed orange trident gum and left the chewed wads on his desk in their former, individual wrappers. That lasted roughly a month and a half.
Towards the end of that job I met Chach. My second date with him was at a bar where I had to go outside to take a call from my temp agency about a phone job interview the next day.
That job involved military clearance and scanning old documents and it wasn't bad except for a coworker who loved to talk about conspiracy theories about September 11 and "the stronghold that the jews have". That job let me calm down a little bit while I earned an hourly wage again while I went back and forth about my apartment. When that job ended, I dove back into craft shows and GRUMP and then ended up moving in with Chach in Virginia and then starting back at the temp job but in a new capacity which was terrible and that only lasted about 3 months and then back to scrambling for jobs.

My taxes in 2018 were the most complicated I have ever dealt with.

the beginning of 2019 felt a little lackluster. As I came up on a year of living in Virginia it felt disorienting to watch my DC friends slide away and to be essentially rendered 'invisible' because I live 11 miles from where I used to live but it's across a river (but not a beltway!) but still I don't matter.

I had some friends really support me and continue to champion my work, or hire me for odd jobs and give good advice or just let me cry and not act weird about it (as opposed to the friends who did see me cry and then split) and then I started a temp job working for a general contractor who renovates bowling alleys.

My friend who works for the temp agency placed me here because she knew that I am good in "unusual situations" (i.e. peeing in a portajohn) and also I lived 6 minutes away. So I had the interview, I asked some questions, I eyed the flimsy plastic sheets containing the asbestos removal, and I started the next week.

And I loved it. I got to buy pink workboots, I bossed people around, I got over my hatred (mostly) of talking on the phone, I got to see what a bowling alley looks like behind the scenes, I learned more about restroom partitions than I ever thought about, I eventually was able to stop peeing in portajohns after the aforementioned partitions went in. I got to fire a white supremacist, and shrugged when the other one quit.

So now I am working for the company and I'm processing paperwork from home. It's less exciting than being there in person but it's still really interesting and Bear Bear the Wonderdog lays next to me snoring loudly on the floor.

But my biggest news is the day that Rodger Stone was convicted, I returned home from the bowling alley with the best champagne Aldi had to offer. It could have been my hopes that this was a sign that finally the tide was righting itself but the air was perfect and the light was golden hour but on steroids. It was pink and soft and magical and gave everything extra dimension. Chach had beat me home and as I walked up the stoop bear bear ran out to greet me at the door and Chach came outside and showed me a ring and asked if I could marry him and I laughed and cried and asked if I could put my Aldi bags down because the champagne et al was heavy and I said yes.
So 2019 has been pretty good. The taxes are going to be a mess again but I've decided to pull back from Eastern Market in 2020 because the people just aren't there and the ones that are, are complete buttholes.
People....just because you have an opinion doesn't mean you need to say it out loud.
A century ago people were scandalized by hemlines. By music. By parties. By liquor. By elected officials.
I feel like not a lot of that has changed. Except hemlines. At the risk of sounding 100 years old, I do kind of think we've all gotten too comfortable with booty shorts and yoga pants and fake eyelashes as common errand-running attire.
So here's to you 2019, for leveling off. For aiming up and hoping 2020 continues that trajectory. In 2020 lets all be smarter and more respectful of our time. It's ok to say no to things that aren't fun. And to people that aren't fun. We are in the home stretch of what will hopefully be the end of this administration and we can all work towards making that so. Let's all knock on doors, register voters, welcome new members to the party and most importantly vote. For whomever it is. Even them.
As long as it's not him.

9:34 a.m. - 2019-12-30


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