bethb's Diaryland Diary

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i'm nervous

so pardon me for writing 4 times today, but here's the deal.
i'm nervous.
i haven't had a job interview in about 9 years. and really, the last one i had was a technicality at best.
so...i'm nervous.
i'm taking the few business-y things i own (let me pause here and laugh. me! businessy! HAH!) to colleen's tonight so maybe we can decide yes pants or yes pants but no not these pants and figure out what i need to pick up tomorrow
i'm nervous.
there's a lot that i love about my job.
there are times when i love my boss. and caboose the prop shop cat. and the fact that i have access to a van. and power tools. i'll loose all access to power tools. and probably practice with tools. certainly no more welding, but it's not like i've done a lot of welding lately anyway....and i'll miss coming into work with wet hair. and sick days that maybe were forgotten to be noted as sick, and a boss pertrified of snow so much so that he won't come in. and the business cards that say "artisan" on them. and the impressed look people get when i say i work for the shakespeare machine. and my pink office. and wearing sneakers and painty jeans and a guided by voices shirt to work. and the all the free markers. and paper. all the free paper. and spray paint. and adhesives. and writing off mileage. and my coworkers. and loosely counted lunch hours. and getting my personal shopping in with shopping for work. and shopping in general. and people at antique stores knowing my name. and going to the mt. rainier post office to mail stuff where mike works and he always calls me "miss beth" which i have to admit, i kinda love. being able to drink beer at work sometimes. a lot of sometimes. and using the shop as studio space.
what i won't miss:
chaufering my boss around towns like he's a 53 year old toddler. the commute from where i live to mt. rainier everyday. the barage of used condoms on the hill by the storage door. finding human feces smeared on socks/towels/tissues/the building down by storage. toting furniture up and down hills in the rain. the cottonwood tree. storage in general. a coworker that doesn't completely shut the door when he's in the bathroom (and i should note- there's one bathroom upstairs for 7 people. a "one-holer" as my mom would call it. a toilet/sink/shower type bathroom. like a house. don't you fucking at least shut the door to your bathroom when you're in your house/apartment? and especially when there's a cat underfoot who LOVES to go into the bathroom and leaving the door ajar is begging him to open it on you) the consistantly poor communication from stage management regarding notes. people like dixie c. and joan van a making me crazy with insignifigant things. the constant parade of broken/stood upon/thrown over/generally mistreated furniture. innane demands that literally defy physics and the time/space continuium. having to know where/what everything is, and the contact information for anyone and everyone my boss has ever talked to. the steady stream of phone calls from other prop people all over town looking for stuff. heck, i got a call yesterday from someone in chapel hill, NC looking for a cast iron stove which i wouldn't think would have been that difficult to find down there in NC, but i sent her pics of the one we have and some info on some antique places in asheville, NC which makes more sense for her to go to.

i guess that right there is the biggest problem. i am a prop person. it's what i do and really, i'm fucking great at it. i get off on knowing dippy nerdy information. like how to distinguish rhode island chipendale from philadelphia from baltimore chipendale. i like collecting stuff (which my roomate will tell you with a groan and an eyeroll)
really, props and theatre are all i've ever known so that makes this whole job excursion kinda scary. but i genuinely enjoy public art. and i am also pretty good at organizing events and other artsy-happenings. so maybe this will be a good fit.
plus, it would be so f-ing great to be able to ride the bus to work. it's one bus line. it goes from the hill near my house to the archives metro which is less than a block from the place where i might be working. holy crap. i could read. and maybe have a fighting chance of finishing more than 1 book a month. right now the book Jim Derogatis put together about lester bangs and the lenny bruce bio are battling it out to be finished.
it's kinda great, being consumed with these briliant, dirty, seedy men.
but i'm still nervous. what do i ask about? hours...and health care....vacation? is that too presumtuious? how long the previous person was in that job?
ugh....so nervous.

8:01 p.m. - 2006-09-13

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