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bethb's Diaryland Diary

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Who wants a kick in the pants

So here we go- this is my submission to the game show world- i really think you'll like it- it's called

WHO WANTS A KICK IN THE PANTS?

Mostly, it's called that because i like to use the expression 'kick in the pants' and also, because i do not underestimate the comedic value of Regis and his upper west side accent saying 'pants'.

First contestant is Darva Conger and her 'When did opportunist become a bad word?'routine. Uh...Darva darlin' there's this thing called the 'dictionary'. you might wanna try it sometime. if you do, you'll notice that 'opportunist' means to have your eyes on the prize without any thought to moral obligations or long-standing consequences. (not that she seems to be one to thoroughly think things through. 'I didn't think we'd actually get *married*' uh-so what part of 'who wants to MARRY....' didn't you understand?)

The second contestant, i don't really know anything about-i only saw a snippet on the news for what's going to be throughly flushed out by tv anchorwoman doreen genzler. it's teens with a 'fad that sends them to the hospital or DEATH. it's called 'car surfing'. They (channel 4) are going to do some exposee (which other journalists will undoubtedly call 'hard-hitting') about dumb kids standing on cars like a surfboard.

Evidently, some of the kids 'just can't stop'. Now, I've sat around trading stories with my friend Sean and both of us have ended up shaking our heads asking ourselves how we ever survived- but this just sounds idiodic.i mean really- if timmy can't seem to keep his ass off daddy's acura, perhaps it's time for timmy to get, oh, i dunno...a job or something that would prevent such lame attempts at death-defying stunts. or at least be sensible and get the kid a skateboard and a helmet. the whole world would be a better place if we all went skateboarding more often, i think.

And on a personal level- i tried to trim my bangs this weekend. On saturday afternoon, i put my hair up in a ponytail and saw that my hair was doing some style from the 'Jo Polnichek- the early years' catalog. (for those of you who had more constructive childhoods than i- Jo was the character so richly portrayed by Nancy McKeon on the Facts of Life.)

They're really short now- my bangs. Word of advice- don't attempt any hair trimming while sitting in your bath tub, singing along to the smiths with a hello kitty compact balanced on your knee.

that's a beth b. approved hair tip to take to the grave.

which, for those of you playing along at home, will notice that's the second time i've used that euphanism, with two different cliches. hm.

weird.

xoxo

beth b.

ps.good fort reno show tonight- BESTEST fort reno show thursday.

13:11:15 - 2000-07-17

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